Why I Left Facebook (Why EVERYONE should leave Facebook)

Posted on 7:29 AM by Mike Fye

I've finally deactivated my Facebook account. For good. That's right. This is the very last time. Why? I'll give you 3 reasons off the top of my head.

3. Armchair Political Pundits
I can't be the only one that is tired of having their news feeds filled with reposted and asinine political commentary from people who are too unoriginal to have an opinion of their own. Especially when 99% of the time it's just fear mongering bullshit that a simple Google search will prove it false or exaggerated.

"London Bridge is falling down!" says Left Wing Watchgroup. Share this secret news!

We all understand that every time a college girl gets an abortion Jesus cries. We all know War is bad. Save your energy and actually do something if these issues bother you so much. Posting someone else's premeditated brain farts makes you look like a fool.

2. The "Friend" Illusion and the Destruction of Nostalgia
My Facebook friend list had about 120 people on it. That was AFTER I had purged the list of people I had accidentally added or no longer wanted to spy on. Of those 120, I spoke with about 10 on a regular basis. Facebook has made it easier to filter what and who you want to see, but still. Do you remember how life was before Facebook? Remember how you would make friends, life and times would bring you closer together or ultimately push you apart, and that was the end? Now there is a virtual purgatory for all the people who weren't good enough to stay in your life.


Oh, yeah! Of course I remember you...um...you! Let's be BFF's forever! Look at my Vaycay photos yo!

Sure it's neat to be able to see that the girl that checked "No" on the "Will you be my girlfriend?" note you gave her in the 4th grade is now a broken down meth-head with 12 kids. But ultimately it's just a novelty, and it feels like cheating. I miss the mystery of wondering what became of the people in my past. Now the memories of them when they were truly relevant to my life are cheapened by the fact I can just type their name in and find out anything and everything I want to about them.

1. The Systematic Destruction of Social Etiquette and Understanding
This makes about the 5th time I've deactivated my account. Everytime has been for the same reason: a misunderstanding about a post or message sent to a member of the opposite sex that sends my partner into Rage Mode. An Example:
What I said: "Hi, Cindy! We've not talked in years! How have you been?"
What She read: "Hi, Cindy! We've not fucked in hours! How have we went so long without fucking?"
It doesn't matter that Cindy is my snaggle-toothed, butch-lesbian 2nd cousin that lives in Mississippi. I've broken an imaginary (yet very real) line of trust somewhere. If the conversation had happened say, at Dunkin Donuts after running into Cindy, all would be well. But the fact that I clicked on a few buttons and typed the words must mean that I was actively seeking her out. Even though I practically "ran into" her through stumbling around on Facebook. I had no ill-intent. If I wanted to have a rendezvous, I think I'd do it the old fashioned way. You know, with a Craigslist prostitute. But it's very obvious that stuff like Facebook affairs happen. Somehow. Even though you there is no possible way to physically interact with another human being through a computer.


"Why are you doing this?! And on OUR FAMILY COMPUTER! YOU BASTARD!"

But this was just the proverbial 3 ton brick that broke the ant's back. Socializing on the internet in general presents tons of similar issues. I once threatened to travel 800 miles to beat a family acquaintance's ass after I misconstrued an "old man saying" comment he posted on my fiancee's picture as an insult to her mothering abilities. The main tool we have to represent ourselves online is written word. And unfortunately, the majority of us are not inherently skilled at using it in a way that keeps our feet out of our mouths. A lot of the social experience is lost in translation from our minds to the screen because we can't communicate inflection, body language etc. without preempting every sentence with "lol" and ending it with an emoticon.

This is just an "off the top of my head" rant. Most of the people that I want in my life are already there. For the others, I hope you have a good one. Feel free to email (fyemike@gmail.com) or text (423-231-4752) me if you'd like to catch up. But you can have Facebook.

1 Response to "Why I Left Facebook (Why EVERYONE should leave Facebook)"

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Anonymous Says....

But I love facebook...And I love the fact that when I search for something thru a search engine that there are commercials and ads on facebook for things I JUST SEARCHED FOR.... Same for the TV, some would say ahh he is just paranoid... I beg to differ, good god pink floyd was right....welcome to tha machine.... Not only are convicts just a # anymore... We ALL are! I guess I am double fucked. That is all.

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