5 Films I Love to Hate (Because Other People Love Them)

Posted on 4:06 PM by Mike Fye

Some movies are good. Some are bad. Some are so bad they're good. But these are films that people genuinely love despite the fact they're just awful. These people are like a kid with ageusia, singing the praises of a turd they thought was candy just because the wrapper said "Chock-A-Lot".

5. The Boondock Saints

No, it's not a feminine hygiene product. It's a "movie".

There's only one word that can sum this one up: Why? Boondock Saints sits firmly on the throne of  90's Tarantino poser flicks.  If this movie was a person, it'd be that guy who horse laughs at all of his terrible, Andrew Dice Clay-esque jokes and rambles on about all the "extreme" things he does with his "bros". When someone tells me this is one of their favorites, I just silently judge them and move them to my internal "acquaintance" list. If this hadn't inspired the exceptional "Overnight", about director Troy Duffy's meteoric crash to chumpsville, it would probably rank higher.

4. Natural Born Killers

This is what happens when you work at Cheers for too long.
I'll give it this much: it took me about 3 days to finally decide I hated it after watching it. This movie should be stuck in one of those chair-ride dealies and called a train wreck simulator. Only an idiot would buy the two leads as the anti-heroes Stone wants them to be. Yes, Oliver, news media saturates the medium with blood and guts because that's what people want. No, Oliver, that doesn't mean they are responsible for making  serial killers. The movie's execution ends up contradicting it's own moral, feeling like a wholesale of violence instead of a valid critique of it. You know you got problems when Quentin Tarantino (the writer) distances himself from it.

3. The Hangover

That's not how roofies work. Not even close.
I was late to seeing this, as I don't hit the theaters very often, so by the time I actually did see it I did so on a toilet in anticipation of all the shit-inducing laughter I was told to expect. It never happened.  The whole thing just felt flat. The characters were unlikable, the plot was implausible (and not in a zany way) and the humor was tired.  Galifianakis and Helms are usually hilarious, but here they're subdued to make way for all the original zingers like getting blackout drunk and marrying a stripper in Vegas. How people enjoyed this enough to warrant 2 sequels just baffles the hell out of me.

2. The Sixth Sense

And the call was coming from inside the bloody hook in the ribbon that was holding her head on until this very night right behind you!
I'm a prideful person (for good reason, too!) so I've always taken great joy in the fact that I spotted M. Night's hackery as soon as it hit the mainstream with this film. People just kept droning on and on about how he was the next Hitchcock. They defended him dud after dud. It wasn't until Lady in the Water that they finally started coming around to what I'd been saying all along: "This guy doesn't know what the hell he's doing." I especially hate this movie because it started the novel trend of using a twist ending to carry a whole film. If you're only watching a movie to get to the ending, you're not doing it right. And if you still think this is good, you need to go back and watch it again. It has no replay value, the acting is laughable in some spots, and the twist doesn't even really make sense if you think about it for more than a minute. 

1. Forrest Gump

Like a box of chocolates: processed, over-sweetened and cliched
This movie almost makes me angry just thinking about it. Just the whole white-washing of developmental disabilities generally shown in Hollywood pisses me off. The only honest look I've seen on the subject was in Tropic Thunder.

The people who got so offended by this REALLY missed the point of it. Even though it's pretty crude, it's a pretty honest critique of how mentally disabled people are seen in the industry. "Never go full-retard" is basically saying, "we can have a mentally handicapped person, but not TOO handicapped". You know, they still have to have traits "normal" people can relate to. Rain Man has a "quirky" condition that makes life hard for him, but that's ok because he's a GENIUS with numbers! Ol' Forrest ain't that bright, but that's ok because he KNOWS what love is and can run like a cheetah! It seems like the feel good message of Forrest Gump boils down to, "You can accomplish anything you put your mind to, even if your mind isn't capable of doing it! Coincidence and Destiny will fill in the blanks for you." And this is certainly just me being too sensitive perhaps, but after seeing the very real challenges that people with cognitive impairments deal with on a daily basis and then seeing Hollywood basically twist it whichever way will fill the most seats kinda disgusts me. And that's all I have to say about that. I'll let the professionals tell you the rest.



2 Response to "5 Films I Love to Hate (Because Other People Love Them)"

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Tami Dearing Says....

Your opinion of Forrest Gump is a real eye opener. I've watched it a zillion times and never once considered how offensive it really is until now.

I don't waste money seeing movies at the theaters these days. The last few "have to see" movies were total letdowns. Not sure if it's just me, but the comedies aren't funny anymore, action movies have great graphics which I can't understand WHY anyone would still find entertaining given today's technology, and the lead's over the top super human abilities mimic a violent Superman, thrillers focus too much on what is supposed to be shocking blood and gore, horror and paranormal flicks aren't nearly as believable as they once were, and sappy love stories portray a very misleading concept of a perfect love that I can't buy into. And, no, the Notebook, did NOT make me cry despite the fact that it's made several grown men bawl.

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Brandy Rogers Says....

I'm shocked to find that I agree with your whole list... except that I have a guilty pleasure for Natural Born Killers. I guess it's the sadist in me. Perhaps I get that from you?

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